| TO THE QUESTION OF, DO YOU NEED TO DRUG YOUR
DOG TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS? TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION A QUICK NO WOULD NORMALLY SUFFICE, HOWEVER MANY PEOPLE NEED MORE PROOF THAN THAT, SO HERE ARE A FEW WORDS FROM THE WISE. |
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| K- The lure driver, very successful man, job he loves, successful 50
plus year marriage, great kids, sense of humour, loved by everybody in
town and still got plenty of mates to have a beer with. "Fast acting metabolic steroids, what a load of shyte, you might as well load up a syringe, stick it in you own thigh and then bet with confidence." X- Seventy five year old dog trainer who shall remain unnamed "why waste steroids on a dog, if you load yourself up you can play golf all week end, just don't expect to be able to do much for the rest of the week." S- Successful horse and dog trainer ( lady ) at the time also seventy five although you would never tell- " Deborah, you know why I am the only horse and trainer in this (medium sized country town) who has never been done for drugs? Deborah " No, S why". " I don't use them. I'll give you some advice, some of these f---wits think you can use a chemical to speed up animals and that's rubbish if you feed them good food, exercise them properly and love them they will always give you their best." and she was, I discovered, absolutely correct. M- discovered the most dangerous drugs in the world are chocolate and love ( of course we all know this). Moral of the story, never leave your best dog alone with your elderly Mother and a box of chocolates.(especially if he's five years old and past winning anyway). No decent son could ever dob in his Mum to the control board.  TELL
A TAIL TIME- K and the "Loaded Dog Story", (with apologies to Henry Lawson) K (not a lure driver) "When I was about eighteen years old me and my mate got a dog, he was so fast that we decided instead of betting five pounds a week we would save it up instead and have a big hit on him" Saved up eight hundred pounds an enormous amount of money in those days. One of the old timers said give him a few Bex powders just to make sure. The dog fell out of the boxes frothing at the mouth. Came bloody last. The worst part of the story- he won the next nine straight. It was a good lesson harsh but fair ." Moral of the story- see S ABOVE and not all old people are wise. Deborah- to a definitely never ever to be named respectable, wealthy much admired older lady trainer,who loves her dogs "Have you ever drugged a dog?" Reply "not since they brought in testing no." At a track whose name is long forgotten talking to a young bloke, name also conveniently forgotten who said. "Miss, I suppose you heard that the swab came back positive", "Oh, well your Dad will just have to wear it". "That's not the problem, the dog is in Mum's name and she is overseas, so Dad said it doesn't matter." " Does it?" "Well yes, I don't care if Dad wears it, everyone knows he's a dickhead, I just don't want any-one talking about Mum, she would never do anything like that." "Best let them sort it out in one of life's glorious little domestic interludes." THOUGHTS ON DRUGGING YOURSELF- TREAD WARILY WITH MOOD ALTERING CHEMICALS. Noradrenaline Reuptake inhibitors - like ANYONE knows what that means and some of the symptoms of this are : skin rash, itching or hives, swelling of the face, lips, tongue or throat or other parts of the body (boob swelling would be good), shortness of breath, wheezing, troubled breathing or difficulty swallowing - (well I never like to swallow anyway)..... Have to tell the doctor if I am pregnant - not f...... likely.... other side effects include headache, nausea dizziness tiredness irritability anxiety (this is normally me on a good day) abnormal dreams (can only dream if you sleep right ?), diarrhoea (I knew it would give me the shits) and excessive sweating (great can smell like a brickies labourer) - want more......., sexual function problems (well I thought the bloke was responsible for that not happening anyway), feeling jittery or irritable (have been irritable all my life so that one wont bother me) muscle stiffness and movement disorders (had that most of my life too), not caring about things (yep thats me) feeling detached (yeah whatever) and seizures (well I havent had one of those so that could be my next adventure -), increase in blood pressure, and cholesterol, changes in liver function (thought I had already stuffed that up with alcohol anyway) - so the funny thing about all of this is if I do in fact suffer some or all of these symptoms how the hell am I going to be able to find the phone, pick it up, make a call and have a conversation with the doctor to tell her - oh well just wait and see if my life changes dramatically - OR not at all.. Caffeine- available from licensed business dealers in any grocery shop in the country or licensed drug dealers with university degrees, called Chemists, at selected retail outlets. This drug supposedly makes dogs go faster and gee whiz I thought it was about the number of fast twitch muscle fibres a dog had. Well you learn something new every day. |