       
VIEW DEALING WITH A SOCIOPATH AS ONE OF LIFE'S LEARNING
EXPERIENCES, IN THE FUTURE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DINE OUT FOR
YEARS ON THE STORIES although don't bore people for too long
because they want to tell their stories. If you are dealing with
a violent and dangerous sociopath you of course need
professional advice and help and need to be very very careful.
This is about the garden variety sociopaths living next door or
with you who are not violently dangerous.
LIGHTEN UP- these people, with the odd dangerous exception, are
not monsters but people who are about two years old in the head.
Completely ego centric, make messes that mummy can clean up,
chuck tantrums, and imitate other people. All baby humans learn
by imitating others it is just that the sociopath never leaves
this state, why, because they can't they just do not have the
brain capacity to do so.
It is easy to be fooled by a sociopath because they just mirror
you and if you are decent they appear to be as well. Sociopaths
are very fussy- they want to imitate the best and so it is a
compliment really that they chose you as their model and because
they have a great sense of entitlement they want the best of
everything- unable to provide it themselves they chose some-one
who can. Take solace in the fact they are not attracted to
losers they want winners. They of course want to beat you. Why,
because they know you are better and they hate you for it.
FORGET ALL THAT RUBBISH ABOUT destroying you - drama queen
stuff-
you are just in a state of shock- you will return to normal.
It is of course initially quite difficult to understand that a
small percentage of the population simply think and behave as a
sociopath does. We all of course have sociopathic
tendencies- there are just degrees. The really sociopathic
people just tick every box on the list "Are you a sociopath"
Everyone on the planet would tick at least some of the boxes. We
are all capable of selfish, manipulative, ruthless and deceptive
behaviour- there are just degrees. The human brain is very good
at convincing its owner that they are not like that but of
course we all have these tendencies. They are about survival and
only a very small percentage of people at the other end of the
scale have altruistic natures. Mother Theresa, the small
percentage of people who were old and went to the Nazi gas
chambers so a younger person would be saved. Only rare people
did this. We of course have some altruistic characteristics as
well. It is also about survival- that's what makes people so
protective of their children- many people of course are willing
to sacrifice themselves for their children. Only a small
percentage of people can extend these feelings to everyone. You
have just not been put in a situation or inherited a particular
type of brain that makes you very sociopathic.
TAKE SOLACE IN THE FACT that if you have been done over by one
it will not do them any good because the sociopath is a very
unhappy person and they will always be unhappy because they have
no emotions and do not know what happy is.
THEY MAY TAKE SOME OF YOUR MONEY- do a quick calculation on what
a good lawyer will cost you and some of your property and then
work out what another twenty years of this type of parasite
would cost you and you will find you are well ahead and view it
as money well spent. If you are particularly pissed off pay a
really good lawyer and give a lot of money to them- especially
if they are doing a good job and you enjoy their company- you
are going to have to hand over some so why not give it to a
person of your choosing.
TRY TO PALM THEM OFF ONTO ONE OF THEIR LOVERS- the good thing
about the sociopath is they generally have a few relationships
going at once- point out their wonderful qualities to which ever
lover your sociopath has, which you like the least. Tell their
lovers that you are quite mad and they will of course be
treated differently. Try to pick one of their other lovers
who is also sociopathic and there will be one in the big pile of
people they use. Play fair and warn the decent people who they
are also abusing. They may not believe you but you have done
your best. Then it is their choice and problem,
REMEMBER THE least little thing pisses them off because they are
so important (in their mind) in fact you can do absolutely
nothing except have a good time with your new found freedom
(from them) and know they will be blaming you for everything
that happens to them without you having to lift a finger.
THEY HAVE NEVER LOVED YOU- isn't this great you will never need
to feel so much as a moment of remorse or guilt if you do
anything nasty to them . Vent a bit especially if you are
normally polite and considerate, you may never get another
opportunity to discover what it is like to be an arsehole.
THEY
WILL QUICKLY MOVE ON AND never think about you again - even
better now they are some-one else problem.
THEY ARE EASY TO READ-want to know what they are up to- whatever
it is they are accusing you of- how easy is that.
THEY WILL TELL LIES TO everyone about you and take out an AVO if
you look at them sideways (because they are bullies and cowards)
- just remember you can meet some really hunky policeman-
generally in a lot better condition than the sociopath reporting
you. Remember no matter how good a liar your sociopath is and
they may have fooled you for a while, the police deal with
sociopaths and liars on a daily basis- they are not easily
fooled.
THEY WILL TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE MAD- of course they will, view
it as an opportunity to behave in an outrageous way that
normally your conscience would not let you do. You can actually
have a lot of fun.
THEY LIKE TO WIN- so does everyone that's how we are
biologically programmed it is just that the rest of us have
other interests. Trying to spend your whole life winning is very
exhausting and lets be frank a complete waste of time except for
15 minutes of fame.
EVENTUALLY they end of in the same pit of desperation and
despair that they put every one else into- the difference is
they cannot ever get out of it. In the meantime remember they
are not cold and calculating but rather endlessly bored ( a
really horrible way to live )
THEY PLAY GAMES-learn them and play back or if you become bored
- become a bit sociopathic yourself, view it as a lesson in
learning to keep your emotions in check and we can all benefit
from that. They mirror you so don't react and seriously do you
care if they go?
They are takers- the givers actually have all the power- just
stop giving. View them as a lesson in how to take better care of
yourself- you will never become that selfish but you can at
least practice for a while. Even if you are not a game player
yourself it is very useful to know the games other people play.
The ultimate game of course is not to play any- this really
confuses people.
FINALLY- just be grateful you are
not one. Endlessly bored, never understanding the chaos you
create, not understanding reason or the consequences of your
actions- do you really want to be like that? Don't feel pity for
them though they don't need that they bounce back pretty quick
but do not waste your time hating them either. These people did
not say " gee I am really glad to have inherited a genetic
disposition towards sociopathic behaviour and/or really wanted
an abusive childhood so I could spend my life leaving a trail of
broken people behind me" - they are what they are. But do not
let that understanding deter you from their removal. They are
also useful they can do stuff the rest of us would find
disgusting but sometimes needs to be done allowing us of course
to pretend we are nice people- that's their job (sort of
modern day Black Knight which of course sounds much more
glamorous than sociopath or malignant narcissist) and it would
not be fair to them if they got upset about the unpleasant stuff
they do so the rest of us don't have to. You can also be
grateful for the fact they drop the mask and show you what they
are really like- this avoids you having any doubts about leaving
them and remember every nasty sick thing they do is just another
demonstration that you have made an accurate assessment of them.
Don't worry about what you can or cannot prove in court if you
have worked them out that is all that matters. So they fooled
you for a while- every one plays the fool on occasions. Move on
and get over it, the fact you have been made a fool of interests
other people for about 15 seconds and then they of course go
back to worrying about their own lives which of course they have
to so they can survive. Be grateful to anyone who was prepared
to support you even in some small way and be careful not to put
other people in danger.
|
 CHARACTERISTICS
THEY ARE PARASITIC- have others
pay their way and often have a number of women or men (depending
on their sex) on the go at the same time. There are no moral
issues for them because quite simply they have no morals and do
not care who gets hurt as long as it is not them. They also do
not have the capacity to figure out their actions will hurt
anybody.
Only involve themselves with people they can get some benefit
from , why? because-
THEY HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT-
they believe that they are entitled to anything they want-if
they can't afford it some-one else can pay- this is because
they are like two year olds, trying to figure out the social
rules without any understanding, totally self centred and badly
behaved.
They believe they are entitled to things because they believe
lying, cheating and stealing is work and fair enough it probably
does require a lot of effort to do the sort of stuff they do,
they just have a different definition of what work and clever
is compared to the non sociopath.
THEY CREATE CHAOS AND CONFUSION-
and they do it without even trying- this is of course because
their behaviour is a reflection of their minds.
THEY HAVE NO FEELINGS FOR ANYONE-
which might sound bad but they just have no feelings at all.
They do not, unless threatened, purposely hurt people- for them
other people do not really matter or even exist at all. Which is
why they are described as users and abusers. When threatened
however they become nasty ( as we all can be) it is just they
are particularly vicious because they lack feelings, have a
great sense of entitlement and don't care what other people may
think of their behaviour. They have no shame or embarrassment so
it is just no holds barred for them.
THEY LIKE TO PLAY GAMES WITH OTHER PEOPLE-
they do this because they have no feelings for others, are
constantly bored, do not know what they want, and if you ask
them why they do it they say something like " because it is
fun." They unlike empathetic people do not spend
their time thinking and worrying about their families, or if
they are doing the right thing etc, are not in any conflict
about their emotions because they do not have many emotions and
so have time to plot and scheme and think up devious ways to get
what they want.
THEY HAVE TO WIN- and they do not
care who gets hurt because other people just do not matter-
everyone likes to win and we are all programmed to be selfish it
is just that the sociopath takes it to extremes. In their minds
if you lose to them you are weak, if you win you are a threat.
THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND REASON OR THE
CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR BEHAVIOUR- that is another reason
they create havoc. They are not clever they are cunning- once
again because they have no choice. If you are not clever well
you have to use cunning instead. They simply do not have the
capacity to understand what their behaviour could lead to and of
course when fronted with the disasters they create it is always
some-one else's fault.
THEY ARE OPPORTUNISTIC- they are
constantly on the look out for any opportunity that could
benefit them and if it is when some-one else is down even
better, less work for them.
THEY ARE ACTUALLY in most cases (serial
killers the exception) OBNOXIOUS and DEMANDING PEOPLE,
but in their minds they are pretty special and I guess we all
kid ourselves we are too. They do however create unbelievable
messes which they leave for other people to clean up. Why -
because they are just not capable of cleaning up the mess
themselves and actually have no understanding whatsoever how
they actually created them, so therefore in their kind of logic
it must be some-one else's fault. Sad really. But don't let pity
ever sway you from their removal- they just have to go- palm
them off onto one of their sociopathic lovers is always a good
move might cost you a bit but money well spent.
THEY ARE OUTRAGED AT THE THINGS OTHERS
COULDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT AND LEFT QUITE COLD BY STUFF NON
SOCIOPATHIC PEOPLE WOULD BE HORRIFIED ABOUT- why- because
they have no feelings for anything but that which threatens them
and then they go into really nasty mode. They cannot understand
how some one would get upset about certain things because they
cannot empathise with other people or understand feelings they
have never experienced themselves.
THEY USE PHRASES LIKE- it's all a
game, expect the unexpected- because they create so much havoc
they have to expect the unexpected and for them everything is a
game that they have to win. Of course their idea of winning and
everyone else's is quite different. For them winning is about
harming others and getting what they want. This can vary from
total control of others to using others for their own gains or a
combination of both. They are of course not nice. The rare
sociopath with a very high IQ ( and very high IQ's are rare to
begin with) are particularly not nice. Ted Bundy types. Lost of
course in the end but caused a lot of damage on the way. All
believe they are too clever to be caught.
THEY HAVE NO PLANS FOR THE FUTURE-
or ridiculous ones that they have no hope of ever achieving,
because clever in the lying, cheating, manipulative,
stealing kind of way bit generally not in the intellectual
clever category- if they were they would not
have to behave as they do. They love power. The power they use
is to control others but everyone gets sick of it eventually.
When people finally abandon them they are shocked to discover
the other person knew they were lying, cheating and stealing but
the other person of course, in their minds has suddenly gone
mad. This is quite logical really, they generally have been
getting away with their behaviour for a long time.
THEY DIVIDE PEOPLE INTO- people
they can use, people who will help them and game spoilers.
Anyone they deal with eventually plays all three roles.
They also have very low resting pulse rates, an aversion to
sudden flashes of light and "dead" eyes which are most obvious
in photographs.
and of course they lie, lie and lie about absolutely everything
and can change their story at an amazing speed.
|
CURRENT THEORIES ABOUT SOCIOPATHIC CHARACTERISTICS.
Scientists debate of course what is the cause of this
personality type. There appears to be a strong genetic component
as some sociopaths have not experienced an abusive
childhood background. Some do and this because they need
to survive causes them to lie, cheat, use and abuse just to
survive. Sometimes it is a combination of both. People also
learn from a sociopathic parent how to behave as well.
Current scientific evidence suggests that the sociopathic brain
does not have localised and discrete emotional centres like the
non sociopathic brain and that the emotional regions are
scattered, so scattered that retrieval takes too long or does
not occur. Which of course is fascinating stuff as long as some
sociopath is not using and abusing you.
Sociopaths love tying people up in the legal system, it keeps
their victims tied up and busy defending themselves, they are
happy to lie, it does not worry them and they are of course so
arrogant they think they can beat the legal system and sometimes
they do for a while. They cause a lot of trouble before of
course the legal system catches up with them because the legal
system deals with sociopathic people on a daily basis.
There will be some brave and really decent people who will give
you a hand and if desperate you can pay a lawyer- they might
charge but they are being paid to look after your interests.
Lawyers are of course paid to look after their clients
interests not matter how disgusting that client is. Keep in mind
their lawyer is looking out for them and will have no problem
playing every trick in the book no matter how dirty to win for
them. So do not let them or their lawyer wind you up. ( Which of
course is why there are some many lawyer jokes putting them in a
bad light- do not take it personally that's just their job and
sometimes of course the decent ones try to explain reason to
their client and are secretly grateful, when after appearing in
court for some-one truly disgusting and defending them to the
best of their ability they lose. This of course is in serious
criminal matters not boring old domestic ones and unfortunately
your lot is seen by everyone as just another boring old domestic
break up which no-one really gives a shit about and
unfortunately in domestic break ups people can and do get away
with behaviour that if some-one came in off the street and did
it to you they would face serious charges. Sorry that is just
the way it is.
Leave and take your chances with an abusive partner because if
you stay they will destroy you anyway and in most cases it is a
choice between two years of shit or another forty with them. The
choice is of course pretty obvious.
|
*Whilst there is an element of
"dog eat dog" in the game of survival there is another more
important element not dog eat dog but "how can all the dogs as a
species survive?"
*In all groups of animals including pack animals the group as a
whole has to survive and if individuals within a group do not
survive, as long as it does not destroy the whole group, nature
does not care. Nature has of course provided every dog with the
ability to take care of themselves. Every dog is of course
selfish and looking out for itself. The lower order dogs of
course are the least selfish and lack the ability to be nasty
and mean. Their lot of course is not a good one. The middle
order dogs are of course agreeable types with the right balance
of looking out for yourself, being selfish and mean and nasty
AND also co-operating, sharing and caring for the other dogs and
most importantly looking after the puppies. Bad mothering genes
are removed from the pack because the pups do not survive.
*There are in every pack of dogs or wolves, the top dogs. Top
dogs are of course nasty, mean bullies and their job is to bring
down prey and fight off threats to the pack. You of course have
to be mean and nasty to do this successfully. Obviously if
every dog was mean and nasty the pack would tear itself to
pieces. Having one top dog means that there is less fighting and
damage done and energy wasted when it could be used for better
things like looking for food. The other dogs of the same sex as
the top dog of course do not like the top dog- who is of course
not really concerned about this because members of the opposite
sex do.
* This job of course is not all that it's cracked up to
be. If you are a top dog you have to constantly be on guard for
the next top dog who wants your spot .This of course, in between
keeping up your mating duties and fighting off animals that
threaten the pack is very stressful. The top dog position
is of course only a temporary one until another younger, fitter,
nastier and meaner dog takes your place. Also if you become too
mean and nasty and dangerous the middle order dogs will gang up
on you and turn on you to let you know.
* Top dogs within packs normally surrender their top dog spot to
the next contender rather than take on another dog who will
seriously injury or kill them. Smart move and is the reason that
is a rare event for animals to deliberately kill members of
their own species. Sometimes during takeover moves pups or
cubs belonging to the former top dog, lion, tiger (and yes
even those cute and co-operative Meer cats do
it occasionally) are killed although their mothers will
vigorously protect them and if your mum is mean and tough and
protective enough you will survive the hostile takeover moves.
Every animal on the planet benefits from having a good
mother. Bad mothering is weeded out although in some
co-operative groups of animals other females will rear young not
belonging to them. Humans are one of the species that do this
and one of the rare species who actually regularly trust other
members of their species with their offspring.
*Being a top dog in the human world means that these rules apply
to you in some ways. The problem of course is that people are
one of the rare species who constantly kill or harm members of
their own species so of course some human top dogs
are dangerous predators and sometimes the bottom order dogs
become dangerous as well. Normally only top dogs bite because
they are mean and nasty and aggressive or bottom order dogs bite
out of fear.
* Perhaps the sociopath is a top dog who doesn't understand all
the rules or a bottom order dog who does.
* Law enforcement agencies are the human solution to keep
dangerous dogs from damaging the other dogs to much.
* Whilst most criminal activity is done by sociopathic
individuals not all sociopaths are criminals. Which would tend
to suggest that a lot of sociopaths do not get caught or perhaps
have figured out a way to be sociopathic without resorting to
criminal activity. |
| |
|
|
|