| IMAGE- memo
from important people. As Greyhound Racing in now on the telly and in colour, IMAGE has now become an important part of the PEOPLE IN CHARGE"S concerns. As a consequence of this it is no longer acceptable to 1. Use hessian bags tied up with the missus's old panty hose as a dog rug. 2. Be overweight. 3. Swear. 4. Wear old hats and sleeveless shirts. 5. Smoke in camera view. 6. Handle a dog while intoxicated. Whilst this may prove difficult for some participants who have never handled a dog when sober, everyone is at least expected to give this a trial period. If a participant believes that no one watching Sky racing can tell the difference (as to whether you are sober or pissed) participants can apply to the Stewards to call in video evidence. Participants, who, after not drinking; shake and have hallucinations are excluded from the trial. Thus the last politically incorrect place on earth has vanished. HOWEVER No-one ever asks what happens to horses that cannot run fast enough and the only reason for this is because the people who race them are better dressed. SO AS A CONSEQUENCE OF THIS All greyhound participants will 1. Go to the gym and work on their abs. 2. Attend the track with spray on tans. 3. Wear ridiculous hats with flowers, ribbons and bows. 4. Men will wear tuxedos. 5. It is of course permissible to become incredibly intoxicated and make a complete fool of yourself as long as you adhere to the dress codes above, bung on an upper North Shore accent and refrain from mentioning your source of income and refer to your father as Daddy. |
A young attractive girl (an unusual sight in itself at the greyhound
track) was chatted by a Stewart about the fact that when she bent over
her bum crack was showing. I asked the Stewart who had complained
because I knew it would certainly not have been the hundreds of Friday
night punters, in fact it was highly likely that even more people would
be watching next Friday night. Apparently this was not the right IMAGE.
The following week a very fat old person did the same, no Steward
complained so obviously this is the right image. The steward of course,
having a daughter of his own, did make the right decision. not
the correct image  the
correct image.A STUDENT ONCE SAID TO ME "Have you got greyhounds Miss" and I said "Yes, Jason I have. He said " you don't look like a greyhound trainer Miss" "What do greyhounds trainers look like Jason?" Jason replied "Not like you Miss." |
The girls understand image.  |
 Greyhounds
who
understand the new dress code. |